Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Loan And Finance

Should I Dump My Financially Irresponsible Jerk of a Boyfriend?

DP jerk boyfriend final


Dear Penny,
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. Unfortunately, we are not doing too well financially and are paying off debt with a debt relief company. Even with this, we still struggle to get by.

I make $40,000 a year. He barely makes $30,000 a year as a construction contractor who isn’t even on a W-2, so his taxes are very expensive come tax season. He also purchases cigarettes and weed on a weekly basis, which is a chunk of change as well. He claims he wants to get ahead, but he won’t budget or look for a better job.

What should I do? I’ve tried talking to him, but he gets defensive about this stuff and then walks away. Should I just end the relationship because he’s not willing to grow up?

-Stressed Girlfriend

Dear Stressed,

The problem with being in a relationship with someone who won’t grow up is that you feel more like a parent than a partner. It’s been seven years. Based on what you’ve told me, I’m not holding out hope that your boyfriend will change his ways.

Your boyfriend is detached from reality if he expects his financial situation to get better without making changes. But what bothers me most isn’t the cigarettes or the weed or the refusal to plan for the giant tax bill he gets every single year. It’s the fact that his response when you express concern is to walk away from the conversation. That suggests a problem that goes way beyond money.


robin circle image

I’m in favor of dumping this guy unless he’s given you some reason to think he’ll turn things around. But I get it: Breakups are hard, particularly when you’ve been together for years.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

If you’re not willing to end things just yet, you could see if he’s willing to make a small change instead of asking for a complete overhaul. It’s understandable why you’d want him to look for better-paying work or stop wasting money on smoking. But switching jobs or giving up a long-term habit can be enormously stressful.

You could start with something that’s less likely to put him on the defense, like telling him how stressed you feel every year at tax time. Independent contractors are supposed to make tax payments each quarter instead of waiting until tax season to pay, but you can make payments as frequently as you want. Ask him if he could start paying his taxes each week or on paydays so that you won’t be panicked next year at tax time.

Compared to changing jobs or giving up a smoking habit, this is a relatively small ask. If your boyfriend still isn’t willing to budge, he’s sending you a clear message that things will never change. As long as this relationship continues, your odds of achieving financial stability are pretty much non-existent.

I think you should start prepping your finances now, assuming that you are going to end this relationship. If it’s possible to save a little extra, either by cutting back or working extra, do it. Be sure to keep the money in a bank account that’s in your name only. If you don’t think you’d be able to afford your current housing on your income alone, look around at alternatives in the area. You may want to ask around to see if anyone you know is looking for a roommate.

I’m not sure whether you’re enrolled in a joint debt management plan or if the debt is in one person’s name. If you’re jointly liable, you may want to ask the company you’re working with if it’s possible to separate your debts. Given your boyfriend’s poor track record for managing money, I wouldn’t trust him to make his share of payments should you split.

Sometimes people need an impetus to change. Your boyfriend is clearly comfortable with letting you absorb the stress of his decisions. Perhaps a breakup would give him a much-needed kick to grow up already.

Regardless, your boyfriend’s days of holding you back are numbered. Either he learns to act like an adult, or you’re gone.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.


.



Source link

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Latest

Loan And Finance

Authored by Liberty Specialty Markets Liberty Specialty Markets (LSM), part of Liberty Mutual Insurance Group, announced the appointment of Parul Kaul-Green, to the newly...

Top Stories

Boris Johnson, who has been the prime minister of the United Kingdom since 2019, said he will step down as leader of the country’s...

Technology

In context: It’s taken Switzerland €2 billion and 14 years, but the country’s underground “water battery” is now complete and operational. The project took...

Online Business Success

By Jon Clark, managing partner at Moving Traffic Media, a New York digital agency offering SEO, PPC, and Amazon marketing services. getty We know...

Loan And Finance

Watch now: How is the distribution landscape changing in insurance? Johnson said that his company’s interaction with independent agencies was a major driver in...

Loan And Finance

Tencent Music Entertainment Group (TME) has partnered with Dolby Laboratories to make its Dolby Atmos service available on QQ Music, one of China’s largest...

Advertisement

You May Also Like

Uncategorized

Introductions get a lot of attention. I’ve explored the topic of how to write them even though as a reader, I always skip them....

Online Business Success

The internet is now our nervous system. We are constantly streaming and buying and watching and liking, our brains locked into the global information...

SEO Guide

There are all kinds of pictures of the world on the internet, but to find one of these specific pictures that you want to...

Online Business Success

You can think of link building in many ways. I like to call it tedious, painful, and a test of patience. It’s also necessary...

Advertisement